Suburban chain invasion; screw your smooth Coldplay, you friggin' jhole! Fantasy balls; Sactown bus ad eyesore

Orphan Niño, Wolverine and Barnito flank the Marrs complex on 20th Street.

Chain me up: So there's a new Daphne's, a chain Greek cafe/fast food place I first experienced in Granite Bay, in the infamous Safeway center on 19th. Honestly, for fast food it's reasonable, but definitely blah tasting. It's like the Pita Pit of Greek food. Meanwhile, I hear there's a new bar/pizza by the slice place called "Vito's" or something right next to Pronto! (where I've yet to eat and probably never will--fuck them). I'm told Vito's is fun and tasty and they have a full bar. I'm there.

Get your (head up your) ass to Marrs: I'm so damn sick of the Coldplay, smooth-jazz-Rolling Stones remixes, 24-seven leaf blowers and neverending construction at the Marrs complex on J and 20th streets. Not even the prospect of Luigi's by the slice is enough to make up the now years of redevelopment and remodeling. And whoever is deejaying the entryway should have their hands cut off. And if it's Sirius radio, then fuck Sirius. If anyone has a PA I can borrow, lemme know cos I'm going to blare some Refused or U.S. Maple out my window (see above photo) and fight back. (Speaking of the L Slice, however, they've got a soda machine in there now, pizza warmers and what have you--just a matter of weeks now.) This whole block is going to the shitter.

Fantasy balls: OK, you Fantasy Football boners: I'm taking Stephen Jackson if I get the No. 1 pick. Who would you take? Who are your top five runnings backs? Mine: S.J., L.T., Gore, Addai, Westbrook. I'm not going to talk shit here; I'll save that for the league forum. Let's just say, however, that you can make this year's checks payable to "Goody Playa Back2Back '07-08." Your mom!

Low angle, spread eagle: Those Sactown bus ads are almost as annoying as thay Kabbalah energy drink bus ad of last year. Didn't take long for Sactown to become the chic hand-job reacharound of glossy rags. Sac Mag is the Boomer blower, Sactown just gets sloppy seconds? Where's that leave Midtown Monthly? (Speaking of which, when is ol' MM gonna get a bus ad? You make it, I'll wheat paste it ...).

Wolverine, Orphan Niño and Barnito: Let me explain: I can't remember where Orphan Nino came from: EMS knows, right? Barnito was in my cubicle when I first came to snr. I've kept him since. Funny cos I remember when I first started there was this miniature purple dinosaur and a fucking Caltrans flare on my desk and I'm like "I usually only need a dictionary and an AP Style book ..." And then there's Wolverine, who is a Hungarian fertility God that someone got as a white elephant gift. His arm broke off, but needless to say his member remains intact.